Show Notes
In this episode, Derek Vreeland discusses the importance of prayer in cultivating a peaceable and kind life. We cannot become kind people as followers of Jesus without prayer. We don’t just learn principles of kindness and peacemaking. We need to become kind and peaceable people and that process of formation comes through prayer. One prayer we can rely on is the Serenity Prayer. In it we find the wisdom of accepting what we cannot change and the truth that accepting hardship is the pathway to peace.
The Serenity of Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; Not as I would have it;
Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.
Book mentioned in this episode:
Water From a Deep Well by Gary Sittser
You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habitby James K.A. Smith
Scripture verses mentioned in this episode:
Philippians 4:6-7
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Transcript
Narrator: Welcome to Peaceable and Kind, the podcast where we explore the transformation. Each week your host, Derek Vreeland, will delve into the stories, scriptures, and practical steps that help us embody these essential Christian virtues.
Derek Vreeland: It is another episode of Peaceable and Kind. Thank you so much for Listening and subscribing and recommending this podcast to others. We are just at the beginning of this podcast adventure. I am committed to creating good Christian content that promotes peace and kindness. And I also believe that this podcast will grow and expand and evolve I’m committed to creating the content and I’m interested to see what this podcast will become. I’ve been thinking and dreaming of starting a podcast for years. My oldest son Wesley and I started a football podcast a couple of years ago, Red Friday. It was a Chiefs podcast. Of course, I wish we would have kept that going because the Chiefs are the back-to-back Super Bowl champs on their way to the three-peat. But we did this podcast to talk about football, my oldest son and I enjoy those conversations. But then life got busy Really what happened? My son got married, started having kids, and life got busy for him. Uh so that podcast was short-lived. I’ve also talked to other friends about starting a podcast over the years. I talked to a pastor friend who’s a well-known author and said, hey, we should uh start a podcast. And that never really materialized. I have another friend who uh leads a nonprofit and we talked about starting a podcast, we even begin to outline podcast episodes, but it never really went anywhere. So this dream of launching a podcast has been slowly simmering. And now we’re off and running. So I am happy that you are along for the ride, and I’d love to hear your feedback. So hit me up on social media. at Derek Vreeland on Twitter or Instagram, Facebook. Let me know what you think about the podcast, and I’m open to suggestions. Now I can’t promise I’m going to take your suggestion. But I’d love to hear how this podcast is affecting your life and what you think about the future. Today, I want to talk about prayer. Now, take a deep breath. I have been around church folks long enough to know that when the subject of prayer comes up, people get a little tense. So take a deep breath. There is no need to feel any kind of pressure or guilt All Christians know they should pray, but I’d say most feel some level of guilt that they don’t pray more often that they don’t pray consistently, and if that’s you, let me say, you’re good. Let the guilt go. Prayer is about our connectivity to God, and God loves you whether you pray every day or not. There really is nothing you can do to cause God to love you any more than God already does There is nothing you can do that would cause God to love you any less. So let the guilt go. In talking about prayer today, I’m not here to shame you. I really am here to help you. I’m in a summer book study, a summer book club, and we are reading Water from a Deep Well by Gary Sitzer. I had read from Gary this great quote from one of the early church fathers, one of the fourth century church fathers, Gregory of Nazianzis. Do you know about the church fathers? These are some of the influential early church leaders that gave shape and direction to our faith. I, for one, love church history. When I was a teenager and college student, I didn’t know much about the historic Christian faith. I was new to everything, and so everything was very modern to me. I never realized that we really have this long 2,000-year history. And there were people at the beginning that helped form the very foundations of our faith And so I love learning from old Christians, ancient Christians. And Gregory of Nazienzis is one of those from the fourth century. He was uh what we call an early church father. And what’s important for me is learning from people who have walked with Jesus hundreds and hundreds of years before. me kind of gives me the feeling that this faith that I’m a part of has a heritage. We are grounded and rooted in something that’s ancient. And so I want to learn from what they have to say, but I also want to imitate their faith. So Gregory of Nazianzus was the bishop of Constantinople. which is the modern day city of Istanbul in Turkey. This was an important city in ancient Christianity. So he was a bishop, he was a leader. He was influential in our understanding of the Trinity. So why do we believe in one God revealed in three persons, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit? Well, it’s people like Gregory who helped us figure all that out. So in Gary Sitzer’s book, Water from a Deep Well, he quotes Gregory of Nazienzis saying A man must himself be cleansed before cleansing others, himself become wise, that he may make others wise, become light, and then give light draw near to God, and so bring others near. This thought from Gregory made me think about the importance of prayer I’m not sure we can become kind and peaceable people as followers of Jesus if we don’t pray. We don’t just learn principles of kindness and peacemaking, though there is an educational component. There are things that we can learn. But it’s not so much learning the principles of kindness or peacemaking. We need to become kind and peaceable people. And that process of formation comes through prayer. I do on the podcast want to talk about principles. uh steps, practical things that we can do, habits, practices that lend itself to kindness and peacemaking. But I think I’d be making a mistake if I was only here to educate. Because what I want to help you see as a follower of Jesus is we just don’t think about kind things and then do what we’re thinking. I want us to become the kind of people who by instinct do kind and peaceable things. Do you see the difference between the two of those? See, we’re not just giant brains on a stick Uh that thought comes from uh James K. A. Smith. He calls it thinking thingism, the idea that all we need is education, that if people know the right thing to do, they’ll do it Well, if you’ve lived long enough, you know that that’s not true. We don’t always do what we think is right. Rather, we tend to do what comes out of our heart. The way that we live our life is shaped by our heart’s desires, uh, the things that we love. And so we do need information, we do need education, but we also need heart formation. And that’s where prayer comes in And prayer is not only asking for things, right? We all have our prayer lists, we have prayer requests. We have things we want to bring to God’s attention. But prayer is not only asking Jesus for things, prayer is about becoming like Jesus Prayer is not only about words, even though there are plenty of words in our prayers. Prayer is about becoming aware of the presence of God You know, we live in a God-saturated world, but our culture is structured in such a way that it’s really easy to forget that. So prayer is about becoming aware of the presence of God. So if we want a peaceable and kind life, if we want to live in a peaceable and kind world. If we want to be peaceable and kind people, then we need habits of prayer that enable that kind of transformation. The apostle Paul in Philippians chapter 4, verses 6 and 7, he writes, Do not worry about anything But in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus Now certainly prayer is not only, well the word here is supplication. Prayer is not only asking God for things, but it includes that. Prayer includes bringing into the presence of God the things that concern us So if we think about prayer first as simply attending to the presence of God, prayer is simply those moments in our day where we pause to spend time with God, to be in God’s presence. And then because we are needy people, we’re desperate people, as we’re in the presence of God, we do want to bring to God The things that concern us personally, the things that concern us perhaps about our friends or our family or things in our world. We want to bring all that to God And notice what Philippians 4, 6, and 7 explains. It explains that there is this great Exchange. We bring our worries, our doubts, our concerns, our anxieties into the presence of God, and in exchange for all that, what we get Is the peace of God. See, when we become peaceable people, when we begin to experience the peace of God in our hearts, then we’re able to walk in the ways of peace and kindness. And it really starts with what’s happening in our heart, not only in what we’re learning in our minds. but how our hearts, how our character is being formed and shaped in the peace of God. And I’ve experienced this. On more than one occasion, I have experienced the overwhelming peace of God. Let me tell you one story. When my middle son Taylor was born, twenty-four hours after his birth, we found ourselves in the NICU. They had detected a heart murmur, found out he had problems with his aortic valve. When he was fifteen months old, he was scheduled for open heart surgery Now, if you are a parent and you’ve had a child with sicknesses, you you understand the stress, the anxiety that comes with that And I remember the day of his open heart surgery. We had gathered at the hospital. We were there with my mom and dad. uh my pastor was there and we were waiting for the surgery to begin. They gave Taylor some medication to make him a little a little drowsy. And then it came that moment where we had to hand him over to the nurses who were going to take him back to get him prepped for surgery. And so we’re all standing there and I’m holding Taylor, my son, you know, just over a year old, and I had a lump in my throat. I I wish I could say that in that moment I was super confident. everything was gonna be fine. I was not like that at all. I was anxious. I had I I wanted to break down in tears, but I was trying to be strong for my wife and So we begin to pray right before the nurses took him back. I was asked to lead the prayer. And so I start voicing out just from my heart. that God would bless the nurses and the surgeon, that things would go well. And I’m about halfway through that prayer and I just lose it. I break down in tears. And of course when I’m crying, then my wife’s crying, and my parents are all crying. So I hand my son over to the nurses, they take him back, and we go to the waiting room. And I don’t know what it is about surgical waiting rooms, but it seems like time slows down So we’re there waiting, and in walks the surgeon. He said, Hey, I’m about ready to begin the surgery. Taylor’s prepped and ready to go, but before the surgery begins, I wanted to talk to mom and dad. So the surgeon pulls us in a side room. And he begins to explain the procedure, what he’s gonna do, um, how long things should take. He had mentioned every 45 minutes that he would. Uh have one of the nurses uh phone us in the waiting room to give us uh progress updates. Everything was great And so he said, Do you have any questions? Well, we had researched this heart procedure that he was going to do. We knew all about that. And so I said, well, I don’t really have any questions outside of one, and that is, can we pray for you? And honestly, I didn’t know how he was going to respond. But to my surprise, he slipped out of his seat and got on his knees and held both of his hands out and said, Yes, please, would you pray for me? And I was really shocked by that act of humility that he would he would hold out his hands and say, Yes, pray for me. So my wife grabbed onto one of his hands, and then I grabbed onto the other hand, and I instantly realized that in that moment I was touching the hand that was going to be touching my son’s heart And I was feeling the emotion of the moment. I was I was into the significance of the moment. And I prayed, maybe not the most eloquent prayer. It was not the longest prayer, but I prayed that God would bless those hands, that God would bless Dr. Tam. in this surgery. And we prayed, we said, Amen. And then Dr. Tam stood up from where he was kneeling, and I stood up out of my seat. And in the moment I stood up, it felt like buckets of of cool, refreshing water were dumped on my head. In that moment, I had this overwhelming experience of the peace of God. And for the rest of that surgical procedure, I was guarded by the peace of God. And I’m thankful for that. By the way, it was a successful procedure. He got a new heart valve. That heart valve got replaced when he was 16. And uh Taylor is twenty-four years old and still going strong. We thank God for that I share that story to say that what Philippians 4 says about the exchange is really true. And we can truly experience the peace of God, and that can shape us, that can form us. So, how do we get started in prayer? If we’re going to be a prayerful people that enters into those moments where we can experience God’s presence and peace, where do we get started? Well, There is so much I could say about prayer. In fact, I can promise there will be more episodes on prayer because there’s so much I want to say And there’s not time in this episode to talk about things like the Lord’s Prayer, learning, memorizing the Lord’s Prayer. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. The Our Father, it’s called in some traditions, so important. There is the Jesus Prayer The very simple 10-word prayer, Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me. I’m certainly going to do a whole episode on just that prayer because that is so important. That’s the prayer I pray all throughout the day. I have a form of morning prayer. So I have this habit, I follow this liturgical form for morning prayer and the Jesus prayers in there a couple of times. But that is the prayer just all throughout the day I pray. So episode coming on just the Jesus prayer. Uh there’s praying the Psalms. There’s the collection of prayers in our Bible, the book of Psalms. Definitely have to do a whole episode on that. There’s praying the prayers of the church. There’s prayer books. There’s there’s lots of things to talk about. But on this episode, I want to focus on a modern prayer, and that is the Serenity Prayer. You may be familiar with the Serenity Prayer because it gets associated with addiction recovery groups, a A N A Celebrate Recovery, which is a Jesus-centered 12-step ministry. At our church, I led our Celebrate Recovery for about two years. So people understand or will remember the Serenity Prayer from addiction groups, but I’m telling you. This is one of the most impactful prayers that I pray. It’s not just a prayer for those in addiction recovery. I think the Serenity Prayer is a good prayer for any of us. So here it is. And there’s different slight variations. There’s different takes on the serenity prayer, but this is the one that we use in Celebrate Recovery. It goes like this. God grant me the serenity. to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did the sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen What a great prayer. Isn’t this a prayer that we can pray at any time, particularly if we want to Experience the kind of peace that forms us in the in the peaceable and kind kind of life That opening line in particular, there’s such wisdom in that opening stanza. God grant me the serenity Right? That’s the kind of um non-anxious peace. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change We are limited beings. God is unlimited, but we have our limitations. We can’t change everything. So God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. the courage to change the things I can. Right? There are some things in our area of control about our life that we can change. We just need the courage to change it And then the wisdom to know the difference. There is so much wisdom in that because I’ve learned that Frustration often comes from misaligned expectations, right Trying to change something that you cannot change. Often that is wanting to change other people in your life wanting to change people in your family, wanting to change coworkers. Like my situation would be better if so and so would change. And so we Try to change them. We try to manipulate situations and then they don’t change and we’re always frustrated So the wisdom in the serenity prayer is: God give me the serenity to simply accept that I can’t change everything. But then, God, do give me the courage to change what I can. So if I’m in a in a work environment and I’m in a difficult relationship with a coworker, I can’t change everything about that coworker. Actually, I can change very little. What I can change It’s my attitude, I can change my response, I can change my perspective. So God, give me the serenity to accept what I can’t change. Give me the courage to work on myself. Give me the courage to change the things that I can, and give me the wisdom. to know the difference between what I’m responsible for, what I can change, and what I can’t change, what I must accept. And then there’s the next lines of the Serenity Prayer that I absolutely love. And the next lines go like this: Living one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace. If you are committed to the peaceable and kind kind of life, you have to realize that it’s not easy. The pathway to peace is hard. It’s filled with all sorts of hardships. And in our world of rage and anger I think living the way of peace and kindness often feels like we’re swimming upstream. The promotion of peace in our world requires that we accept hardship, that this is not the easiest way to live I mean, when we imagine everyone sort of living in a state of kindness, what a beautiful picture. But getting to that place of peace and kindness, it’s hard. And honestly, it is the hard that makes it great. Have you seen the 1992 film A League of Their Own With Gina Davis and Tom Hanks. If you have not seen a league of their own, go stream it on whatever streaming service you have access to. This tells the story of the All-American Women’s Baseball League that was started during World War II. Such a great movie. But there’s this pivotal moment. where the coach, played by Tom Hanks, Jimmy Dugan, is confronting his best player, Dottie, and Dottie wanted to quit. Her husband’s come back from the war and she wants to quit on baseball. And they have this really important dialogue, and this is my favorite part of the movie. Jimmy says to her, sneaking out like this, quitting, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. He tells her, baseball is what gets inside you. It’s what lights you up. You can’t deny that. And then Dottie says, it just got too hard. And Coach Dugan responds, it’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great. Working for the things that make for peace is hard. Living kind in a very unkind world. It’s hard. We’re going to be misunderstood, made fun of, misaligned. It’s hard, but it’s the hard that makes it great. And if we’re going to be sustained in this kind of life, what we need is prayer. Prayer is what will sustain us, prayer is what will form and shape us in the ways of Peace and kindness. It’s prayer that gives us strength to endure the hardship. So find a way to include the serenity prayer in your prayer life Maybe today before you go to sleep, say that prayer right out loud. We’ll include the Serenity Prayer in the show notes so you can get it there. but incorporate this prayer in your life and see if you don’t experience the peace of God. Well that’s it for today. That is all we have. Thank you so much for listening. Go in peace and be kind.
This transcript was generated with AI and may contain errors.